Saturday, November 29, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
The 14th Century Poet Put It This Way
We sense that there is some sort of spirit that loves the
Birds and animals and the ants.
Perhaps the same one who gave a radiance to you in your mother's womb.
Is it logical that you would be walking around entirely orphaned now?
The truth is you turned away yourself, and decided to go into the dark alone.
Now you are tangled up in others, and have forgotten what you once knew.
And that's why everything you do has some weird failure in it.Set yourself free.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Peoplejam.com - Find some great articles on the LOA!
I know I don't usually do this, but I want to recommend those who are interested in more spiritual living and law of attraction articles to visit PeopleJam.com Not only can you start to find some of my articles there, but you'll also find a lot of other great independent authors talking about similar subjects! Enjoy!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Book Review: HE'S SCARED, SHE'S SCARED, by Michael Carter and Julia Sokol
This book is very similar to Men Who Can't Love and uses many interviews and studies of many men and women who have been screwed, both literally and figuratively in relationships. Some of my favorite stories include the lady who was engaged to be married, had a wedding date set, and then her fiance joined the Peace Corps and left the country two days before the wedding...without her! This is a fun, and great book once again explaining the crazy thought processes of commitment-phobes (there's that hyphen again) and how they disqualify and run away from great partners. Her Mom is fat so maybe she'll be fat - write off. I don't like the way she holds a fork - write off. She's too short, she's too rich, she's too...you name it. I've been doing it my whole life.
I liked this book a lot. It was pretty much the same as the first one, but better organized. It didn't go so much into how to fix the problem other than to recognize it, and seek a therapist! But that's fine because just reading it made me feel less crazy. I could have sworn I saw myself on many of the pages and felt comforted that I was not the only one who has acted weird. The part where he talked about how the more you love a guy the more he resents you for loving him hit a good chord with me since I went through that and began resenting the girl in the same way.
Again, I highly recommend the book, even though it is repetitive. Even though the book was supposed to address how women are also phobic, I think the author just sprinkled in a couple of female cases just to appease some critics - the book is really about how crazy we guys are. Besides, naturally speaking it's mostly us men who are programmed to spread our seed among many and in this way it's harder for many of us to make a commitment to just one person. If you liked Men Who Can't Love, you'll like this one as well.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Hopeful versus HopeLESS Romantic
hope·less /ˈhoʊplɪs/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[hohp-lis] –adjective
1. providing no hope; beyond optimism or hope; desperate: a hopeless case of cancer.
2. without hope; despairing: hopeless grief.
3. impossible to accomplish, solve, resolve, etc.: Balancing my budget is hopeless.
4. not able to learn or act, perform, or work as desired; inadequate for the purpose: As a bridge player, you're hopeless.
Start being a hopeful romantic. Take a break from loving those romance movies, and ladies, stop reading those romance novels. Seriously. Do you know how many over 30, single females I know who complain about not being able to meet the right guy? Talking to them I found they all had something in common - they all read romance novels. (Recently some of them are even reading romance novels about vampires, which is even more disturbing yet intriguing at the same time). No one I know who has a relationships or is able to find love easily ever reads that stuff. It skews your mind. Just take a break from it and find your inspiration in reality, not in fiction. The reality is, if you look around you, the world is filled with tonnes of loving couples, marriages and joy.
You can have love also. Stop associating with hopeless romance and ground yourself in reality of love. It's everywhere and it can't wait to come back into your life.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
CD Book Review: THE SECRETS OF THE POWER OF INTENTION, by Wayne Dyer
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Surrender Part 1 of 2
Surrender does not come easy. When so many law of attraction books discuss keeping your desires at the forefront of your mind, and just as many promote vision boards, etc., why on eart would I be talking about surrender -a nd more importantly, what the hell is "surrender" anyway?
To me, surrender means to bury your desire in your subconscious and stop thinking about it. This sounds counter-intuitive but consider the times in your life when your dreams or desires have actually come true. Consistently, when you stopped thinking about, worrying about, or ruminating about it. It is when you stop caring that suddenly the Universe starts moving in your direction.
Consider the following examples:
1. how many of us have wished they could meet a great guy or girl but never can? Finally, frustrated, you give up on your search and guess what happens? There's a reason so many people say they met their soulmate when they least expected it and had given up looking.
2. have you ever had a difficult time getting a job? You may search for months or longer and you finally get one. But guess what happens as soon as you get one? All of a sudden you start getting job opportunities and offers that you never even asked for.
I could continue with examples but there is a common denominator to the manifestation of my desires - they have all occurred when I stopedt hinking about them and focused my attention elsewhere. Ultimately, even without knowing, I had surrendered my wish and only then did the Universe do its magic and in some of the most wonderous ways that I can't begin to explain.
So how do we stop thinking about a wish and "surrender"? Tune in to part 2 for the answer to that!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Surrender Part 2 of 2
Monday, September 22, 2008
Book Review: FINDING YOUR OWN NORTH STAR, by Martha Beck
This book is much more than a Law of Attraction book. It is more like a therapist-in-a-book, book. The book discusses how we already have programmed into us the things that would make us most happy and how many of us feel depressed and in despair because we are doing things that go against our true desires. Martha describes how we each have an "internal compass" and if we were to tune in to it, we would live blissfully. Babies and children have it, but as we grow up, societal norms, expectations and conditioning detach us from our internal compass. Martha writes about what to do to tune back into this internal compass, including how to heal emotional wounds. She discusses how many of us lose touch with this compass because we have emotional wounds which we don't even know about!
As we are able to tune back into our compass and follow our gut, the law of attraction will start to work wonders. I don't recall if Martha explicitly referred to is as the LOA since she wrote this book before the LOA was mainstream, but she did discuss how when you are in tune with the life you are supposed to be (ie. the life you want to live), bizarre coincidences will begin to happen which will elevate you and make you reach your goals even faster.
This is a true self-help book but more importantly it helps the reader figure out what's holding them back and what they want to do with their life. Many of us are not doing the things we desire for any number of reasons - maybe we think the profession we want wouldn't pay properly, or the partner we want wouldn't be accepted by our family. Who knows! But I can personally attest that when you block out all of the corruptive noises and just keep following the inner impulses within you (no, not the ones that say kill that guy that just cut you off on the road), strange and great things start happening in your life. The problem these days is we think and analyze too much instead of working from feeling. I recommend this book for those who feel lost or if something is missing in their life. Probably you are way off course, but don't worry, with the right work you can find you way. We all can.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Film Review: WHAT THE BLEEP DO WE KNOW?!, by William Arntz
It is fascinating to see proven experiments which show that our observation of the outside world actually influences what happens at the physical level. It sounds like mumbo-jumbo, but if anyone is interested, please look up the double-slit experiment. Another amazing one was the Emoto experiments in which he wrote different words on bottles of water. The picture on the left had "you make me sick" written on the bottle, whereas the photo on the right had "love and gratitude" written. Here were what the water crystals looked like as a result:
There's no debate about whether this is true or not as it is the building blocks of quantum physics. Since the science is still in its infancy, no one understands how it works, they just know it does what it does. They have also proven that the same object can exist in two different places at the same time, seemingly destroying our limited concept of "time".
This was a great movie for those who are interested in the scientific side of The Secret (did I mention one of the main people in The Secret is also all over this film?) and I highly recommend the book as it is even better. While still a developing science, it sheds a flood-light upon how the law of attraction is something that is actually possible (and real as many have experienced). Of course, it helps that there is a short sex-scene and a hot blond bending over in a mini-skirt. While the movie is a bit long (i think it was almost two hours!), you can definitely watch it in parts. I give this one a strong recommend.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Book Review: THE SECRET OF LETTING GO, by Guy Finley
Friday, September 12, 2008
Aspects of Commitment Phobia, Part 1 of 3
For years I struggled with making small and big decisions. It was interesting because I just thought I was over-analytical (which of course helped me do extremely well in school). I also recognized it as indecision, which it was. But throughout the years I never thought to attach the term commitment-phobia to my persona. Looking back though, I have had time to see how the indecisiveness of making small decisions lends itself to having a fear of making a commitment. The real fear is making a decision about something that you think you can't undo.
2. do you prefer being on a month to month term with your cell phone because you don't want to be locked into a contract, for example, being stuck with one company for over a year?
3. are you renting a place or did you bite the bullet and buy a place? Or are you on a month to month tenancy so that you can pull out at any time? Also, do you hold off on buying any decent furniture, for years, because you figure you'll take care of all of that stuff when you finally settle down and buy a place?
4. when you make plans with someone do you find yourself only tentatively agreeing, even though you have no other plans at that time? Do you find yourself canceling those plans for no reason other than to stay home?
5. when deciding between two things, jobs or something at the supermarket do you find yourself always whittling your choices down to two things, then mulling over for a ridiculous amount of time, which one of the two you should purchase? No matter, what you choose, you always end up questioning your decision.
6. have you avoided applying for jobs because you're afraid that you might, *gasp*, actually get it?!
If any of these situations sound familiar to you, you may also be suffering from an aversion to commitment. It's not just indecision which makes these seemingly simple decisions difficult and excruciating, it actually has some roots in being afraid of committing to the wrong thing. Ultimately, whether we are conscious of it or not, we are always afraid of choosing the wrong thing. But I promise you, there aren't wrong choices for most things. So you ordered the Big Mac instead of the cheeseburger - maybe you would have enjoyed the cheeseburger more, but guess what? That wasn't the last meal of your life and next time you can order the cheeseburger.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Aspects of Commitment Phobia, part 2 of 3
In order to fix the problem, it helps to figure out where it began. When it comes to relationships, many who have a phobia of commitment often come from homes where their parents are divorced or the relationship between their parents was turbulent. For others, a tragedy during their childhood years made them subconsciously fearful of committing to something out of fear they would get hurt again. It may even be more straight-forward - they once made a bad decision which had a big impact on their life. While they may not have realized it at the time, this programmed them to question their decision making abilities for thereon in, thereby creating indecision, fear of committing to a decision and ultimately wreaking havoc in their personal and social lives.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Aspects of Commitment Phobia, part 3 of 3
Also remember if you're in a bind as to a decision, in most instances you already know what you want. We refer to it as our 'gut' instinct. Chances are when you are hungry, you already know exactly what you want to eat, but your consciousness kicks in and starts making your choice much more difficult than it needs to be. There is a reason why your first choice on a multiple choice test is usually the right one. The same goes for making decisions. Once you are thoroughly in tune with your gut and listen to it without questioning it all of the time, you will be amazed at what the universe will deliver to you.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Book Review: A NEW EARTH, by Eckhart Tolle
I recommend taking a look at this book in a bookstore or borrowing it from the library before you commit to buying it. See if the tone suits you. The Power of Now, the predecessor to this book, said the same thing but with a much nicer tone. It made society seem hopeless but more importantly didn't make me inspired about feeling better either. I wasn't feeling great before reading this book and considered murder-suicide after reading it. (just kidding in case any of you are suddenly thinking of calling 911).
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Reflections of You
Perhaps the best way to surface your own issues is to look at your friends and family and ask yourself, what are the things about those individuals that make you feel anger, or what do they do that make you lose control of yourself and your emotions? If you would just take some time to reflect upon this, you may find that often the very things that you hate in other people are the very traits that you also carry with you! Does their constant procrastination drive you crazy? Perhaps you procrastinate also and are really angry with yourself. Use these reflections to improve yourself instead of trying to "fix" the other person.
As a personal example, I have always found that people who appear to lack backbone, and are too overly accommodating people seem to lose my respect. In fact, in some cases when people are very timid, it made me actually feel a bit of hostility towards them for not standing up for themselves. I realized later in life that I used to also have those same traits and as a result, I was really getting angry at the reflection of myself that I was seeing in others.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Film Review: Under the Tuscan Sun
"Signora, between Austria and Italy, there is a section of the Alps called the Semmering. It is an impossibly steep, very high part of the mountains. They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew some day, the train would come."
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Manifestation versus Destiny
I believe that the answer lies somewhere in between. It would be unfair to say only one force is working over the other, meanwhile I review books such as The Alchemist which illustrate how important signs and omens are and how we need to follow our intuition to achieve our dreams. Running to the "destiny" argument is easy to do when things are not working, or bad things seem to keep happening to us, especially if those negative situations seem to keep occurring no matter what we do - it can seem at times as though we are cursed. There may very well be something called destiny at play, however I contend that it is not immutable and can be changed at any time.
That is to say that at any given time, the status quo that is our life is in fact leading us to some destiny, such as us getting married to a girl named Diane, living in New York City, having two kids then dying at the age of 80. However, if we take a more active step in the creative process by visualizing what we want in terms of where we live, what type of person we marry etc, we can alter that so-called destiny that we are currently headed towards.
If we were truly prisoners of one destiny, why is it that people who are positive and adamant pursuers of their dreams seem to always accomplish them? Believe me, these people did not become positive after they achieved their desires - their positivity helped manifest their desires. If there were really one destiny, no matter what they did, they would only experience failure upon failure upon failure in pursuit of their desire. But we all know that this is rarely the case - those who fail and try again, combined with a shift in attitude always find prosperity. Clearly, they are not prisoners of anything. Neither are you.
My point? Get up on the inside. It's easy to get discouraged in life, especially when we face setbacks. I'm not here to thump bibles, but there is something to faith and believing you can change the course of your life - however you have to believe you can do it and be clear about what you want. There is a destiny for you to fulfill but it's only the one that you want to fulfill, not one that is written in some imaginary book somewhere in the sky.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Book Review: THE ALCHEMIST, by Paulo Coelho
The Alchemist is the story of a young Shepard living in a small village who has a longing to see the world. After having a dream about the Egyptian Pyramids, he decides to pursue his dream and risk his comfortable life in search of the pyramids. Along the way he meets a variety of people including a gypsy who convinces him there is a treasure waiting for him at the pyramids. The boy goes on to meet a shopkeeper, a king, and the list goes on. Each person in the book acts as a symbol or a sign for the boy to keep following what he set out to accomplish, and that is finding a treasure at the pyramids. The book follows the boys trials and setbacks as he keeps trying to find the courage and follow his new path. Despite constant struggles and insurmountable odds, the boy is always able to find the signs and follow them in such a way that they eventually lead him to his dreams.
This book was fantastic. It spoke to everything ranging from religion, faith, following your dreams, and the law of attraction. The message I got from this book was quite clear - when you have a desire to do something, "the universe will conspire in your favor" to bring you what you want. To allow the universe to act accordingly however, you have to be willing to follow the signs along the way and accept that while things may not happen in the manner you hope or expect, they are all somehow working with you to deliver your dream. That thing you thought was a set-back was really an omen, guiding you on your way so that you would eventually be in the right place at the right time. But you have to roll with the punches and stay positive and determined. Just like any successful person will tell you - never give up on your dreams. Be persistent. As for the main character, he proved that anything is possible when you believe in yourself and the universe.
This book was a quick and easy read - you can easily read it in several hours. In fact, they are currently making it into a movie starring Laurence Fisbhurne, slated for release in 2009. If you are looking for some inspiration in life, this is worth your time. It can show you that everything happens for a reason while en route to fulfilling your goals. Just don't give up too soon - like the protagonist in this book, he had many chances to give up and go home. Although he made sacrifices along the way, he never turned back prematurely. You shouldn't either. I highly recommend this book.
Definition of Insanity
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Live Like No One is Watching
Live like no one is watching. Too often, we don't lead the life that WE want to lead because we are afraid of attracting criticism from our parents, friends or other peers. Even worse, some are afraid of what the world would think when they step out in public, acting as slaves to imaginary people that couldn't care less! For those of us who are self-conscious and insecure, we may also feel the need to impress others or at least avoid humiliation. You may be limiting your life with these boundaries and living in a very confining box without even realizing it.
Live like no one is watching. If something feels good to do or someone feels good to be with then forget the rest of the world and what they might think. This has everything to do with making yourself your first priority, and everyone else a distant second. I am not saying to do things that harm others or disregard other people's feelings, but if you really want to care about someone else, you have to take care of yourself first! It will feel un-natural at first since you may have spent your whole life placing yourself in second position whether consciously or unconsciously. Unless we are talking about making a sacrifice for your family member or close loved one, remember that people in general are watching out for themselves and there is plenty of everything to go around. You should not give up what you want so someone else can have it - if they want something they can go get it.
Here are a few things you can do to get yourself into the "now", shed those limiting beliefs and most importantly, shed that imaginary crowd of people you think are scrutinizing you everytime you leave your house:
1) if it feels good to you, do it
2) monitor your thoughts and make sure you are considering your needs first
3) if you catch yourself feeling as though people might make fun of you if you do something, affirm to yourself that the people that matter to you would accept your decisions
4) go see a movie alone, or eat at a restaurant alone - do things that would normally make you feel uncomfortable or self-conscious so that you can realize that in reality no one is sitting and judging you
5) avoid making decisions for other people all of the time, but be prepared to give your advice
When you practice some of these things you will notice that it will feel a bit lonely at first. If you are the type of person who has spent their life believing that everyone is monitoring your every move or scrutinizing you, this process will feel lonely in the sense that you'll quickly realize that everyone is busy living their own lives with their own problems and isn't really paying that much attention to you. In effect, you'll realize that this imaginary crowd of people that you've been living your life with everyday never existed! As you learn to live like this, you'll feel a weight lifting off of you and a mental and physical freedom you may never have experienced before.
Live like no one is watching. Life is very short and you owe it to yourself to have and do everything you want. Don't be one of those people that have regrets. The only regret you will have is from one day coming to the realization of all of the things you didn't do, or could have done but didn't because you were worried about what other people would think. Live like no one is watching, because in reality, no one is!
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Book Review: EAT, PRAY, LOVE, by Elizabeth Gilbert
After reading the book I was curious about what Elizabeth Gilbert looked like. I mean, whenever one spends a book talking about a divorce, getting nailed by a 50 year old Brazilian guy ten times a day, and giving her “ass” away to someone, one is always curious – is this girl hot? Well for 35 years old, she was moderately attractive so I was surprised she’d be worried about finding love. But hey, we all hit the panic switch at certain times in our lives.
In a nutshell, this book describes the hell the author went through as she shed an unhappy marriage and then a rebound romance. On the verge of suicide, Gilbert decided to take a year off to travel to
The book describes Gilbert’s mental state and her adventures in
Eat, Pray, Love did not live up to the hype that it had received on Oprah, however I do recommend it as it did have some interesting parts to it which may be kernels of wisdom for some of you out there. The most important part for me which I have read over and over again was the part about soul-mates and how they are meant to come into our lives and then leave – and in the process they teach us about our obstacles, addictions and everything holding us back in life. Basically these people are reflections of ourselves. Of course I loved this part because I truly feel that is what happened to me in my life. Yeah, yeah, break out the violins.
This was a fairly quick and easy read. For anyone going through a break-up who thinks life will never be the same, I recommend this book. Life will not be the same, but that is a great thing if you have learned to grow and become more “you” out of the experience. As the author says, the heartbreak sent her over the edge, but if it weren’t for them she would have never recaptured her true self. I can relate. Maybe you can as well.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Mental Programming and Relationships, Part 2 of 2
-I would be secretly happy when I would hear people were breaking-up because something inside me felt that people were better off single
-For some crazy reason I began to believe I was better off alone. I used to say things like this to my friends and never even realized it!
-When my parents would ask me if I was ever going to get married, I used to tell them that I never wanted to get married and that I liked living alone too much
-I used to pursue unavailable women
-When girls wanted to be involved in my life, I would push them away and never wanted them to change their life plans for me since I believed that everyone should be “free”
-Relationships were supposed to be temporary
- In my last relationship I engaged in very atypical and bizarre behavior – I remember once thinking to myself while trying to provoke a fight “I don’t need you, I don’t need anyone!!!”
Yes, I am insane. No, I have not seen a psychiatrist…yet. Understand, I had no realization that I was thinking these things, as strange as it sounds. But the truth is, I never took a step back and realized how skewed my thinking had become over the years. I strongly urge you to take time off from actively thinking and monitor your passive thoughts as it could very well be that you also have such ‘limiting beliefs’ about love which are holding you back. Similarly, if your relationships are fine and you always have money problems, take a step back and ask yourself what are your beliefs about money. The world is your oyster and if something is holding you back from achieving a conscious desire, more often than not, it is a limiting subconscious belief.
It’s never too late to change your thinking and reprogram your mind. You may be shocked about how contradictory your beliefs are compared to your desires, but don’t blame yourself – we are all programmed in some way or another. This same programming which may have been sabotaging relationships can equally make amazing ones for you. The first step starts with you – are you willing to take it?
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Mental Programming and Relationships, Part 1 of 2
Have you ever taken a step back from yourself and observed your thoughts? If you find that certain areas of your life are consistently yielding the same, crappy results, meanwhile other areas are functioning well, then perhaps you are a victim of faulty programming in those unyielding areas.
For myself, I have been successful in most areas of my life, however the thing I desired most - an amazing relationship - seemed to be an area where I was consistently falling short. Having taken a step outside of my own mind for several months, I have come to find how my attitude and programming towards loving relationships has been completely wrong and this has been influencing my real-world experiences.
Programming comes from all directions and we are bombarded daily. From the romantic movies we watch, to the heartbreaking endings we see in TV shows, to romance novels - you name it. But programming isn't limited to just the media. Living in a turbulent household, or witnessing a divorce as a child can have major impacts on what you subconsciously think about relationships as well.
For myself I came to realize that movies and things my mother used to say had the biggest influence on how I viewed love and relationships. Because I used to love romantic movies, many of which had sad endings, I began to be convinced that "true love" was a life-long mission and nearly impossible to find in the world. The more of these movies I watched, the more I associated with them. It wasn't until last year I realized that my favourite movies included:
2) Before Sunset
3) Vanilla Sky
Notice a trend? There was heartbreak involved in all of these movies. (I know some of you are going to say Before Sunset is not heart-breaking but that is up to interpretation!). As a result, I began to believe that love was this amazing-magical-feeling-love-at-first-sight thing you had to feel right away, otherwise it wasn't real. What a land of make-believe I had been living all of these years! As a result of believing that love was supposed to be hard/impossible, I had turned away some great potential mates since I didn't feel this love explosion upon laying eyes on the person. Boy have I been wrong. (tune in tomorrow for Part 2).
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Film Review: YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE, by Louise Hay
The movie is a mix of an underlying story acted out by a lady who basically hates her life, and real interviews with Louise Hay and a variety of other life coaches and clients who have used her techniques to turn their life around whether it be physically or spiritually. Most of the examples are of physical healing in this movie. Louise Hay talks about how she used to be a model, then later got cancer and was able to heal it in great part to her own self-healing methods. Even though she is much older now you can tell she was probably very do-able when she was younger.
The main premise of this DVD is that daily affirmations, ie. "I love and accept myself", or "I am happy and healthy", actually work at the physical level. Basically, if you keep saying something, you can heal your mental or physical illness so long as what you are saying out loud is in alignment with what you hope to accomplish for yourself. It doesn't even matter if you don't believe it since Louise Hay believes that by planting the seed of hope within you, it will grow, and ultimately manifest itself in reality.
I remember when I used to watch Saturday Night Live they used to always have this ambiguously gay character named Stewart Smalley (sp?) who used to look in a mirror and say how much he loved himself and how much people loved him. He didn't believe a word of what he was saying and constantly broke down, much to the laughter of the audience. I myself used to think - what a load of crap these self-affirmations were.
I'm not sure what to believe these days. Anything is worth a shot. While I do not have any physical ailments, I did come out of this feeling a bit better. Well, I started off feeling bad since I couldn't believe I was trying to equate myself to the pathetic lady acting out a crappy life, but at the end of the day the message of positive thinking is what is important so in that regard, it was worth it.
To tell you the truth I'm open to anything and everything! This DVD was worth watching. I'm not sure I would pay $20 or $30 for it, but if you can buy a used copy from Amazon or Half.com or borrow it from a friend, then I recommend it. Whether affirmations work to bring what you want into your life will be for you to decide.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Book Review: MEN WHO CAN'T LOVE, by Steven Carter & Julia Sokol
Wow. For any guy out there who wonders why he can't find "the one", or any girl out there wondering why her guy acts weird or somewhat psychopathic, this book is a MUST READ, and that's not something I say very often.
This book is filled with real stories of the thought processes of guys and why they run away from great relationships, behave irrationally and make the girl's like a living hell. According to this book, there is a new discovery called commitment-phobia which basically makes many guys (and some women as well), act crazy the more serious the relationship gets. Basically, we are afraid of commitment so this triggers a phobic reaction within us. We look to start fights for no reason, disappear for days at a time, cheat on the girl hoping she'll find out and even resent her for loving us!
Crazy as it sounds, like I said, my jaw was dragging on the floor as the crazy thought processes and things I did matched the stories of these other guys perfectly. It was embarassing to read at times. As I remember my last relationship which ended when she had enough of my craziness, I wondered why was I having such an allergic reaction to someone who was treating me so well?
This book is a quick and fun read. It's written in simple, down to earth language and for any of you that have been through this whether you were on the giving or receiving end, this book will definitely be an eye-opener. In fact, I recommend this book to those people out there who wonder why they can't have a good relationship - it could be you are either suffering from the same thing or subconsciously attracting these same types of people into your life.
I'm glad this book came out - it made me feel less crazy to tell you the truth. To learn that it is not so uncommon for people to act like this gave me some hope! Hope that I can now use to heal myself and move forward in this wonderful thing called life.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Book Review: LAW OF ATTRACTION, by Michael J. Losier
So as part of my obsession with The Secret, I stumbled upon this book at the library, entitled Law of Attraction. It was a decent book and similar to The Secret in many ways, but without further contrast, let me give it a quick review.
This is a quick read. The book is only 142 pages with illustrations and charts so you can burn through this book in a matter of a couple of hours. It is worth the read and spends some important time on areas of the LOA which other books tend to gloss over and that is “allowing”.
For those looking for help with the LOA this book has a variety of charts which you can fill in which can help you gradually get to the point you need to be vibrationally in order to attract into your life what you are looking for. The book spends quite a bit of necessary time on how our limiting beliefs and deep, subconscious doubts can impede our progress. As it says, having any sorts of doubts about your wish coming true actually prevent it from coming true.
This book was actually a fun read, and even better because it is much more interactive than most books. There are simple games to play and tidbits of advice which other books don’t offer. I did find it interesting how Losier was not huge on daily affirmations. After reading much of Louise Hay’s work, affirmations seem to be gaining popularity (I can’t help but think of the guy from Saturday Night Live looking into the mirror saying “I’m good enough and dog gone it, people like me.”) The author of this book however claims that I you don’t believe the affirmation then it has the opposite effect.
All in all, a decent book. Quick read and intro book for those new to the subject.
LOVING YOURSELF BEFORE YOU CAN LET LOVE COME INTO YOUR LIFE
My whole life I thought I was truly in love with myself. I liked everything about me and walked around with much confidence and generally thought I felt great about myself. Some perceived it as arrogance but those who knew me knew otherwise and I felt good, thanks to having great parents and friends always complimenting me. Recently however, I have come to realize that perhaps I did not love myself as much as I thought, but this resided at a much more subconscious level that I was unaware of at my conscious level.
As I reflect back upon my life, I realized that I did not love myself on many levels. I can think of many, many examples of this. Here are a few short vignettes to prove this:
1. Once when I was being underpaid at a job and my “boss” said that he would double my salary when the company started making money (of course that day never came!), my first instinct was to think that I didn’t deserve that amount of money and I felt as thought I deserved what I was making even though I knew it was too little!
2. A girl who was gorgeous and who every guy in the school had their eye on took a liking to me. It became a bit of an obsession of hers, especially when I started running the other way. A few years later when I moved to
3. I remember as a child playing a game of marbles, winning the most coveted marble in the school. The kid I had won it from decided he wanted to retroactively change the rules which would negate my win. Not wanting to cause any problems, and feeling bad for him, I gave it back to him. In many ways, looking back, I felt as though I did not deserve such a treasure!
4. A couple of years ago I got my dream car, far earlier than I had ever imagined in life. After I got it though, I tried to give it to my father feeling like I did not deserve it yet. Even afterwards, I had a few bad dreams and wish I could return the car to the dealer and I wished I had bought a far more simple car. Again, I felt like I did not deserve my dream.
Believe me when I tell you that this list could go on, and on, and on. Many of you reading this may relate to these anecdotes. Many of you however may wonder what the hell does this have to do with loving yourself and allowing others to love you? The answer? EVERYTHING.
In all of these examples, when circumstances or people have tried to give me things that I have consciously desired, I have subconsciously and also consciously felt like I did not deserve them. Similarly, in many situations I have placed other people’s needs ahead of my own. I used to justify my behavior by thinking I was being courteous or generous, but I have come to realize that if we love ourselves, we should take care of our needs first so that we may then better take care of the needs of others. Think of it this way – if you were in love with someone, wouldn’t you do something fantastic for them? So then if you love yourself as well, why do you shy away from fantastic things being done for you?
It’s interesting. Many years I wondered why I had a difficult time finding a great, loving, relationship with someone. I have everything going for me and come from a great family. The truth is I have always had girls come into my life who “like” me, but I have never paid much attention to them, and consistently dismissed them from my life. It’s almost like their affection for me came too easily but in reality this is me not feeling worthy. It was not until the latest relationship where I would not ever even let the girl tell me that she loved me that I realized something was wrong. Time and time again, an intimate moment would arise and she would open her mouth to say those words and time and time again, I would cut her off, once even telling her to never tell me what she wanted to. Of course, she eventually got fed up and left. The funny thing is, I did not even know why I was behaving like that. It sounds insane, and it was, in retrospect – but this is the power of the subconscious mind.
As I stewed in my misery and reflected upon the lunacy of that relationship I realize the reason I had always fallen short in finding a relationship while it seemed like the whole world was getting married and in love: I did not love myself and this was blocking love from coming into my life. When love tried to enter my life, I would either run away from it, or chase it away. I can’t believe I never realized this before, but better late than never. So how do we conquer this problem? We dig, and dig until we find out where it came from.
For me, growing up as a minority in a predominantly white city created challenges. The first school I attended from the ages of 5-7 was a French immersion school. Let’s just say that many of the children there were quite nasty. By the time I was 7, I wished I was white and was convinced that having brown skin meant that I was an outcast. I changed schools to a local public school and never encountered the bullying again – but I think by then, the damage had been done.
As I matured into a young man, I truly thought I had found myself and was happy with who I was. But now that I reflect on my life, I think I have always, to some degree, either felt a degree of inferiority around certain people, and not fully been myself. To love oneself, is to be oneself.
How to fix this? Well I began thinking of all the people who had wronged me – I forgave all of them (I didn’t send them postcards!), by forgiving them in my head. People like Louise Hay recommend affirmations such as “I love and accept myself”, however whether you feel this is necessary or not is up to you! Ultimately what I am saying is that if you find that you do not fully love yourself, you may likely have emotional wounds from days gone by which you’ve never addressed. Address them now, for it is never too late.
As I move forward with the utmost confidence that another fantastic lover will manifest herself in my life, I will continue to work on loving myself and knowing that I deserve great things in life such as the love of another, great job, great business, or whatever it may be. It is up to each person to deserve what they want and accept it when it arrives. And trust me, if you’re wondering if you’ll ever find Mr. or Ms. Right, believe me, you will, but you have to love yourself first. Find out what is blocking you and work on fixing it.
With that, I will leave you with a fantastic quote from the book “Eat, Pray, Love”, by Elizabeth Gilbert. While the author is obsessing about a man who broke her heart, her friend from
“…here’s what you’ve gotta understand, Groceries. If you clear out all that space in your mind that you’re using right now to obsess about this guy, you’ll have a vacuum in there, an open spot – a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with that doorway? It will rush in-God will rush in –and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed.”
A New Start for Everyone
Now having finished all of my academic goals, I have decided to take this time off to spend time with “Me” to explore myself and reflect upon my life and the things that have happened – including both the good and the bad.
After having a very heart-wrenching year, I thought the best way to turn this negative into a positive was to self-reflect and impart all of the things that I have learned about myself so that perhaps someone out there can benefit and learn from the mistakes I've made so that they can avoid making the same mistakes themselves!
So, while I explore this journey, I have decided to write a series articles about my reflections on life as they pertain to love, self-realization, and the law of attraction to name a few things. If anything I write even has the slightest positive impact on just one person out there reading it, then I will feel that this blog was a complete success.
Also, if there is anyone out there which would like to contribute an article they have written on self-realization, happiness, or the law of attraction, please feel free to email me and I would love to put your article up on this website!
For now, enjoy!