Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Mental Programming and Relationships, Part 1 of 2

As we run around in a hypnotized state day to day, we may not realize how oblivious to our thoughts we are and why we do certain things. Thanks to being bombarded with media from all directions, many of us have been programmed to behave in certain ways and we don’t even know why we’re doing the things we’re doing. If you can, take time everyday to observe what your thoughts are. If you look closely, you may be very surprised and shocked.

Have you ever taken a step back from yourself and observed your thoughts? If you find that certain areas of your life are consistently yielding the same, crappy results, meanwhile other areas are functioning well, then perhaps you are a victim of faulty programming in those unyielding areas.

For myself, I have been successful in most areas of my life, however the thing I desired most - an amazing relationship - seemed to be an area where I was consistently falling short. Having taken a step outside of my own mind for several months, I have come to find how my attitude and programming towards loving relationships has been completely wrong and this has been influencing my real-world experiences.

Programming comes from all directions and we are bombarded daily. From the romantic movies we watch, to the heartbreaking endings we see in TV shows, to romance novels - you name it. But programming isn't limited to just the media. Living in a turbulent household, or witnessing a divorce as a child can have major impacts on what you subconsciously think about relationships as well.

For myself I came to realize that movies and things my mother used to say had the biggest influence on how I viewed love and relationships. Because I used to love romantic movies, many of which had sad endings, I began to be convinced that "true love" was a life-long mission and nearly impossible to find in the world. The more of these movies I watched, the more I associated with them. It wasn't until last year I realized that my favourite movies included:

1) Before Sunrise
2) Before Sunset
3) Vanilla Sky
4) Titanic

Notice a trend? There was heartbreak involved in all of these movies. (I know some of you are going to say Before Sunset is not heart-breaking but that is up to interpretation!). As a result, I began to believe that love was this amazing-magical-feeling-love-at-first-sight thing you had to feel right away, otherwise it wasn't real. What a land of make-believe I had been living all of these years! As a result of believing that love was supposed to be hard/impossible, I had turned away some great potential mates since I didn't feel this love explosion upon laying eyes on the person. Boy have I been wrong. (tune in tomorrow for Part 2).


Anonymous said...

These are some of my fave movies too. I wonder if there's a link?

Anonymous said...

It's interesting. I didn't realize either how my thinking was stopping me from doing alot of things. Now I catch myself in the act of a strange or limiting thought and i'm like, wtf!