Friday, October 31, 2008

Book Review: HE'S SCARED, SHE'S SCARED, by Michael Carter and Julia Sokol

After writing "Men Who Can't Love" about commitment-phobia (I can never figure out if that's two words or one so I take the easy way out and use the hyphen), enough complaints about it being biased against men prompted the author(s) to do a follow-up book to fill some holes. I suspect that probably making hundreds of thousands of dollars off of the first book was another good reason for this follow-up. Let's see if the sequel is as good as the original.

This book is very similar to Men Who Can't Love and uses many interviews and studies of many men and women who have been screwed, both literally and figuratively in relationships. Some of my favorite stories include the lady who was engaged to be married, had a wedding date set, and then her fiance joined the Peace Corps and left the country two days before the wedding...without her! This is a fun, and great book once again explaining the crazy thought processes of commitment-phobes (there's that hyphen again) and how they disqualify and run away from great partners. Her Mom is fat so maybe she'll be fat - write off. I don't like the way she holds a fork - write off. She's too short, she's too rich, she's name it. I've been doing it my whole life.

I liked this book a lot. It was pretty much the same as the first one, but better organized. It didn't go so much into how to fix the problem other than to recognize it, and seek a therapist! But that's fine because just reading it made me feel less crazy. I could have sworn I saw myself on many of the pages and felt comforted that I was not the only one who has acted weird. The part where he talked about how the more you love a guy the more he resents you for loving him hit a good chord with me since I went through that and began resenting the girl in the same way.

Again, I highly recommend the book, even though it is repetitive. Even though the book was supposed to address how women are also phobic, I think the author just sprinkled in a couple of female cases just to appease some critics - the book is really about how crazy we guys are. Besides, naturally speaking it's mostly us men who are programmed to spread our seed among many and in this way it's harder for many of us to make a commitment to just one person. If you liked Men Who Can't Love, you'll like this one as well.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Hopeful versus HopeLESS Romantic

Are you a hopeless romantic, yet your love life is a never-ending tragedy? Why is it that your friends who are the least romantic people you know seem to have all the luck? The answer is so obvious it may scare you. The reason you can't find love despite your strong disposition towards it is because you are a hopeless romantic! "Hopeless" means you don't have hope. Go look it up in the dictionary if you don't believe me.

hope·less [hohp-lis] –adjective
1.providing no hope; beyond optimism or hope; desperate: a hopeless case of cancer.
2.without hope; despairing: hopeless grief.
3.impossible to accomplish, solve, resolve, etc.: Balancing my budget is hopeless.
4.not able to learn or act, perform, or work as desired; inadequate for the purpose: As a bridge player, you're hopeless.

Because you love the idea of romance so much, you watch the movies, cry at sad endings, and have a rich fantasy life. These things are great, but love is abundant and easy to find. It sounds nice to be labelled a "hopeless" romantic and also think yourself as one, but if you're having trouble finding a love of your life, then realize that you are what you think you are. By being hopeless all the time, you will perpetuate this state of hopelessness. It's never too late to change.

Start being a hopeful romantic. Take a break from loving those romance movies, and ladies, stop reading those romance novels. Seriously. Do you know how many over 30, single females I know who complain about not being able to meet the right guy? Talking to them I found they all had something in common - they all read romance novels. (Recently some of them are even reading romance novels about vampires, which is even more disturbing yet intriguing at the same time). No one I know who has a relationships or is able to find love easily ever reads that stuff. It skews your mind. Just take a break from it and find your inspiration in reality, not in fiction. The reality is, if you look around you, the world is filled with tonnes of loving couples, marriages and joy.

You can have love also. Stop associating with hopeless romance and ground yourself in reality of love. It's everywhere and it can't wait to come back into your life.

Sunday, October 12, 2008


Auuuuhhhhhhmmmm....auuuuhhhhhhhhmmm. So I thought this CD would reveal some words of wisdom which were a secret. I couldn't wait to stick this in the CD player and have my life transformed. Besides, I kind of like Dyer and the things he says, which mimic much of Hinduism and earlier teachings of the LOA. This review will be short since the CD is actually less of a discussion and more of a series of sounds.

Wayne starts off the CD discussing how in the ancient times, cultures at one with the Universe were able to manifest their desires through different sounds. Sending certain sounds out into the Universe helped attract their desires. The two main ones are "auhm" and "ohm". Basically, most of the CD is Wayne doing this humming, interjecting a nice saying about manifesting your desires in between each humm. I tried following the CD a few times and maybe I was humming a bit too much because I felt dizzy by the time I got out of my car!

There were a few good moments with some of the statements about being connected to the universe. I don't think this is one of those relaxing CDs since it requires quite a bit of effort to hummm the way Wayne does it. Also, if you listen to it in fast forward it sounds like he's having sex. For girls out there who love him maybe you'll like it? For those who are fanatical check out the CD, you might like it. Whether this stuff works or not is up to your imagination. I think I'll stick to his books for now!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Surrender Part 1 of 2

Perhaps the biggest piece of the puzzle in allowing the law of attraction to work effectively is the ability to surrender your desire to the Universe. The Secret talks of this in another way - unwavering faith exhibited by acting and believing that you already have received what you asked for. While this is a necessary component, I believe that true surrender is the real magical ingredient to manifesting what you want.

Surrender does not come easy. When so many law of attraction books discuss keeping your desires at the forefront of your mind, and just as many promote vision boards, etc., why on eart would I be talking about surrender -a nd more importantly, what the hell is "surrender" anyway?

To me, surrender means to bury your desire in your subconscious and stop thinking about it. This sounds counter-intuitive but consider the times in your life when your dreams or desires have actually come true. Consistently, when you stopped thinking about, worrying about, or ruminating about it. It is when you stop caring that suddenly the Universe starts moving in your direction.

Consider the following examples:

1. how many of us have wished they could meet a great guy or girl but never can? Finally, frustrated, you give up on your search and guess what happens? There's a reason so many people say they met their soulmate when they least expected it and had given up looking.

2. have you ever had a difficult time getting a job? You may search for months or longer and you finally get one. But guess what happens as soon as you get one? All of a sudden you start getting job opportunities and offers that you never even asked for.

I could continue with examples but there is a common denominator to the manifestation of my desires - they have all occurred when I stopedt hinking about them and focused my attention elsewhere. Ultimately, even without knowing, I had surrendered my wish and only then did the Universe do its magic and in some of the most wonderous ways that I can't begin to explain.

So how do we stop thinking about a wish and "surrender"? Tune in to part 2 for the answer to that!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Surrender Part 2 of 2

How To Surrender

Surrendering can be difficult. It's like telling someone not to think about a pink elephant. Don't think about a pink elephant. Are you not thinking about it yet? Of course you are! So how are you supposed to stop thinking about something you want? After all, it must be important to you if you want it, and if it's important to you, then you're thinking about it - probably regularly.

The irony is that although "what we think about, we bring about", what we stop thinking about, we also bring about. I have found that while thinking about things works, I am able to attract much quicker when i stop thinking. Why is there this dichotomy? it may be that thinking about something actually serves as a barrier to allowing the Universe to unfold in the way you need it. People do not realize that there is an extremely fine line between believing that something is yours and doubting that something will ever be yours.

Simply stated, when we place too much emphasis on thinking about our dream car for example, it shows insecurity and doubt that we'll receive it. If you really had your dream car you wouldn't be thinking about it anymore and would probably have moved on to wishing for something else.

The best way to "surrender" is to make your wish, then concentrate on other things, like another wish! It takes practice, especially when you may desperately need something and need it right away. But just keep wishing for other things, and keep moving on. Keep distracting yourself. Everytime a doubt enters your mind, remember all of the times your dreams did come true and renew your confidence that this one will manifest as well. But it will manifest when you surrender, and not one second sooner.