Perfection in Imperfection

It has been quite some time since I wrote anything on this blog.  The truth is that for me this blog is therapy.  I haven't needed any blog therapy in quite some time because as I was in a relationship for the last few years, I became complacent and failed to do serious self-reflecting.  Well guess what fans?  My relationship ended (I'm hoping it can be salvaged), and I am here to take my mind off of it by reflecting on the things I did wrong so that I do not repeat the mistakes in the future.

I will get to what happened at a later point as I do not yet want to express in words that it is over, and put that out into the universe.  What I would like to communicate to you is that when we look at our partners, our friends, our family, is that we should only focus on the perfection within each of them. All too often, we focus on people's flaws and imperfections.  Why?  How does that change them?  And why do we do that, so that we can feel better by ourselves?  Perhaps feel superior? 

I challenge each and every one of you to shift your paradigm from being critical of others flaws. As practice, the next time someone you know does something that you normally find irritating, instead of reacting, quickly think of how their irritating behavior has some sort of benefit.  If you can't find one, then think of something positive about the person so that you realize they are not the flaw you see, but instead are a composition of a number of characteristics.

In doing this practice, you will gradually become a more grateful person.  In turn, by being more grateful, this will improve your relationships not only with the subject individual, but with everyone in your life.  I believe one of the goals in life is to achieve a God like glow such as the Buddha or Gandhi. We are each able to obtain such a glow, however because of what goes on in our minds, we cannot release this.  That glow you see from certain people is sourced from their positive energy and outlook on life.  Give it a try for 27 days and see how things will change!

Life is what makes us live

I was thinking of a new concept for life today and breaking apart the typical notion of how it is we are alive. We are known to exist based on our internal organs. When we are conceived, cells come together, and over time they form organs, the most important of which is the heart which beats. When we think of life, and being alive, we think of a heart beating.

But is it really the heart and these other organs which start working in unison and then create what we call life, or what would otherwise be the beginning of what we term "consciousness"? I've been doing some thinking and I would like to propose a new theory: that "life" is what makes the heart beat and the organs function, and not the other way around. Maybe all along we've been considering things backwards. Life begins first, then the heart beats second.

Therefore I would like to propose that life is what makes us alive! The heart and these functioning organs are merely players in the game and "life" makes them function. So when we die and life leaves our body, the heart no longer needs to function since it has no more authority triggering it to beat. This my explain why some people die sooner than others despite having th same health - life has simply left them.

But that raises the next question: what is "life"? We'll explore that in our next article :)

Someone Can't Give What They Don't Have

I was listening to Joel Osteen this morning, I he said something that I found invaluable which I'd love to pass on to the rest of you guys.

"People can't give you what they don't already have."

The discussion today was about forgiving people who have wronged you so that you can free yourself. As always, it was promised that if you do your part, the Universe will pay you back double. I agree.

As I thought about past relationships, I've also thought of my times when I've proactively forgiven these ex-girlfriends. It is true, when I've done it genuinely, I've felt a huge weight lifted off of me - one that I didn't know I had. Unfortunately, I've also found myself going through periods where I've let myself feel anger towards them again, and these thoughts prevent the great things which are just around the corner, from entering my life (in the relationship department, that is).

But how easy is it to forgive? After listening to Joel today, I realized it is easier than many of us make it to be. Whatever relationship we were in before, ended for a reason whether good or bad. In a relationship while we may not enter it with any expectations, we eventually do develop some. How can you be in a solid relationship without having at least some minimal expectations, such as expecting your significant other to call you if they're running severely late, compliment you on something or the other, or even being there for you when you need a shoulder to lean on?

But I've learned that if you aren't receiving the things that you expect to get in a relationship, then it's not necessarily your fault so stop blaming yourself. People can't give what they don't already have. I interpret this to mean that someone typically won't treat you better or give you more than they give themselves. Yes, overly one sided relationships, and our Mothers are the exceptions. But think about it - if someone can't wake up on time to get to a job, if they're chronically late in everything they do, how can you expect them to be on time for you, when they can't be on time for themselves, or anyone else?

Here are some more examples, just so that we're clear. The person is overly frugal and doesn't even spend money on themselves, how can you get angry if they don't ever treat you to something nice every once in a while? The person is an emotional vault, refusing to ever cry, feel vulnerable, etc., how can you be surprised or upset when that person won't be emotionally available for you?

I'm sure you get it by now. I'm not suggesting you withhold yourself and who you are from your significant other. More importantly, just because you're boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife isn't as giving as you, that doesn't mean that you should change who you are and start giving or doing less. Be YOU. Those are the most important words you can ever bring to any relationship. As long as you drop expectations about what you think the other person should be, just focus on who you are and always give 100%. If the other person doesn't reciprocate, that's their loss. Your only job is to be you, and not expect the other to give you what they don't already have.

Peace Starts on the Inside

I decided that perhaps my thinking has become slightly negative in recent weeks or perhaps even months. I therefore decided to go to the Self-Realization Center in the Pacific Palisades with my Mom to feel cleansed. I was very glad I went.

I think for the first time, as we went through a brief meditation, I finally started to understand how it worked. Typically my mind is always racing, however today with guidance, I think I managed to harness it a little bit. Although I had been feeling a little bit of anger towards an ex-girlfriend (I just found out she moved in with somebody proving that there had been someone else involved in our break-up), I started letting that go and started feeling good vibes for everyone. I realized that it is not only healthier to love than to hate, but much easier! I left the sermon today feeling more refreshed. Unfortunately, that did not last for long. As I was trying to leave, a few people bumped into me, without making eye contact or apologizing. I felt like pushing back, wondering how these people could be so discourteous. Then I made it to the line for the Friendship Tea for the weekly snack. Again, there were many people, and some people decided to get their food, and just continue to stand in front of it to chat, blocking the line, and blocking others from accessing it. I don't believe they were intentionally being rude, but often people unfortunately do not consider anyone else but themselves. All that mattered to them was that they got what they wanted. Nobody else existed.

To take into account your surroundings, and others around you, seems to have turned into a rare trait amongst peoples, even at a beautiful place of worship. I started feeling anger, and then realized that I had to really work on myself as perhaps in these last few months the crowd of the city and the thoughtlessness of many people within had eroded my new place of peace. But I can never blame anything on the outside. I believe we must be so peaceful and strong, that nothing, nor no one on the outside can affect us on the inside. Not surprisingly, the Universe told me what I needed to know within minutes of me feeling this trivial and destructive anger. I had picked up a little booklet which contained selections from Gandhi's writing. Upon feeling this anger my eyes fell immediately on these lines:

I am too conscious of the imperfections of the species to which I belong to be irritated against any member thereof. My remedy is to deal with the wrong wherever I see it, not to hurt the wrongdoer; even as I would not like to be hurt for the wrongs I continually do.

No coincidence. I am but a fool to expect perfection from everyone. We cannot hold everyone else up to our own standards otherwise we will go crazy. Just because I'm overly considerate of others doesn't mean anyone else is, nor should I get angry with others for being the way they are. We are an imperfect species. And that's okay. Just accept others and focus on the simple and happy things in your life.

Like Gravity

I was on my way to a car dealership today to look at a new car. Yes, although not as cool as the BMW 3 series, I decided to go green and consider a Toyota Prius, especially given all of the miles that I sometimes drive, not to mention So.Cal traffic can take a toll on a car. More importantly my ego doesn't need the inflation of a car like that. Perhaps once upon a time, but not now. But something struck me on my way to look at the car: that I hadn't thought about my last relationship in a while. Have no doubt, time heals all wounds. It's funny to think how crappy I felt just a couple of months ago. However when we have a reference that puts everything in perspective for us, it all makes sense about how we have to be like gravity. We have to be like gravity in that we have to gravitate towards the things and people that gravitate towards us. This permeates all levels of life. Allow me to explain.

In our relationships, it is useless for us to convince someone to like us. No doubt, there is sometimes a game we have to play during the courting phase however over the longer term, it is fruitless to convince someone to like us. Our time is far better spent gravitating towards people who like to spend time with us without us having to impress them or convince them to do so. How do we know when we're with the right person or set of friends? Nothing feels forced, we look forward to spending time with them, and we don't have to feel like we're someone we're not. We just exist and are happy in their company. Trust me, take a look at how you are when you're with your best friend and contrast that relationship to other people you're with. Now let's move on to our "job" or whatever it is that we do for a living. If you're having doubts about your job or are unhappy or perhaps are at a stage in your life where you're still considering what you want to be when you "grow up", then read on. It's probably easier than you think to decide. Think back to what you wanted to be when you were a child - do you still have aspirations to do that? (aside from being a millionaire, which we've all found out, isn't actually a profession!). You may find that you do, and may want to consider pursuing that. Or if you're not sure about your current job, take a look at your life. Do you find yourself tired? Snappy with your loved ones? Getting sick all the time even though you take care of yourself? It may very well be your subconscious trying to give you signals to move on.

My point is that life does not have to be a struggle. In fact, the Universe is so abundant with whatever you want that it is fruitless to feel like you are swimming upstream. The path is laid out for you and perhaps more obvious to follow than your mind can comprehend, which is why we spend so much time pursuing things that we are not sure of, because society has conditioned us to take certain paths, which may or may not be our true heart's calling.

Take some time to meditate. Contemplate. What did you want to do for a living as a child? Who are the people that you feel most alive when you're around? When was the last time you got sick - what or who was involved in your life? These are the breadcrumbs that the Universe has laid out for us on our journey of fulfillment. Just follow the simple law of Gravity in everything your heart calls for you to do and you will be amazed by the results.

Kanye West and the Law of Attraction

Since it happens so often, I've decided to start documenting a bit more, my experiences with quantum physics and its more commercialized version, "the law of attraction". Let's start with today.

The VMA Awards were already a month ago. For some reason, I decided to watch a rerun of it the other night on the TV, only to hear the new Kanye West song, "Runaway". I didn't think anything of the song nor was it one of those songs that replayed in my head. I had never heard it on the radio or TV so I figured it didn't go anywhere. Today about about 4:00pm I was working when for some reason the song popped back into my head. I couldn't shake it. I ended up spending about 20 minutes looking for it on youtube and finally found a decent version to listen to. It was a decent song after all!

Two minutes later, I turned on the TV for the first time that day. The TV turned on with the face of Kanye West on the Ellen show. I didn't even have to change the channel - he was right there talking about his new album/song. Within about 15 seconds, they started playing the video for that song that I had just been looking for, but had been having a hard time finding a decent version of on youtube!

Coincidence? Doubt it. Stay tuned.

Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food and water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who have been ill and old are restored to health and vigour, those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they miss someone very special to them who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. The bright eyes are intent, the eager body quivers. Suddenly it begins to break away from the group, flying across the green grass, strong legs carrying him faster and faster.

YOU have been spotted and when you and your special pet finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face, and as your hands caress their beloved head you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. You then cross the Rainbow Bridge together.

Author Unknown

Going One Step Further

Thank you to ALL and EVERYONE who has ever read this blog. I am writing this to announce a few changes that will be taking place. Don't worry, this isn't an announcement that this blog will be shutting down since I don't have time to write anymore. Quite the opposite. I have decided to put more time and effort into maintaining this. If anyone gets anything out of it, whether a smile, knowledge, or even some help that saves one of their own animal family members, then it would make all of this worth it. Actually, all of this is worth it anyway, because I get to speak (type) from the heart and that alone makes it worthwhile!

SO - a few upcoming changes:

1) A new domain name! I haven't decided on it yet, but will do so soon at which point lovelifeandthelawofattraction.blogspot.com will point to the new domain (you have to admit, the current one is ridiculously long).
2) I am going to work on a slightly new and appealing layout.
3) And the biggest of them all, is that I want to start adding video blogging to this site. I think it will be a new way to spice things up around here.

Have a wonderful weekend and make sure and spend time with everyone you love, animal, human, or plant.

I love you Mr. T

My beautiful kitten, exactly one year old, died this weekend. I am trying not to look back with regret for not having brought him to the vet sooner. It happened so fast...

It's strange - I miss him dearly, but for some reason feel so surrounded by his presence and his LOVE. I've cried a lot over these last two days. Oddly enough, this is the first death I've really been close to. I've had pets many years ago, but I was a different person then, and their deaths hurt. However, I don't know if I was as close to those animals as this one - Mr. T. He was one of three brothers who was born in my backyard by a stray cat. The mother left them for us, and they were soon coined as "The Klump" or "The Brothers" (nevermind that two of them were female). They have spent the last year together completely inseparable, cleaning each other daily, sleeping, eating, and loving me and my family.

I love him very much. I see how much I've grown as a person and I see so much of me in each of those kittens, especially Mr. T. He was a very shy and timid kitten, but very kind, quiet, and peaceful. As our discussions on this blog have been clear, the things we receive in life are a reflection of us. This couldn't be more true of these kittens. As my mother pointed out, as I considered how unconditionally and deeply Mr.T loved me, he was just reflecting my own love for him back upon myself. I used to be someone that carried around a lot of regrets about things I could have done better. Not so much this time, hence my growth.

I never let a single day go by without spending a lot of time with my kittens and every single night, even if it was 2 in the morning, sitting down with them outside and telling them how much I loved them. Me and Mr.T used to sit down side by side, with my hand on his back, watching up at the stars. I told him every night just how much I loved him. I felt like he really understood me. He just stood quietly and listened to me always. So docile, so loving.

Despite him no longer physically here, all I feel is love all around me. I keep thinking of the line from Ghost where Patrick Swayze says (while he's going to heaven), "it's amazing, the love, you take it with you...". While the backyard seems very empty and quiet, and I know his two sisters are missing him dearly, grieving in their own way, I feel his ray of sunshine upon my soul.

I realized through Mr.T how silly it is, chasing love. How silly have I been over the years, chasing people that didn't love me back. It is incumbent upon us to be like gravity and gravitate towards those that love us and we love. Never try to convince someone to love you - that is not love.

As humans, we love to talk about love all of the time, however we understand it the least of perhaps all living creatures. Mr.T knew what true love was. He gave it to me and his siblings every day. He didn't do it to get anything in return. He did it simply because he had it to give. Love is being in the presence of someone who you can share your positive energy with, and bask in the glow of one another. Love is sharing your positive energy with someone when they're down and vice-versa. Love is not conditional. It is something you give because you wish to give it. I love you Mr.T and I thank you for loving me. I feel like that beautiful feeling you gave me will never go away. Ever.

Quotation from Eat, Pray, Love

“…I’ve come to believe that there exists in the universe something I call “The Physics of The Quest” – a force of nature governed by laws as real as the laws gravity or momentum. And the rule of Quest Physics maybe goes like this: “If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting (which can be anything from your house to your bitter old resentments) and set out on a truth-seeking journey (either externally or internally), and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared – most of all – to face (and forgive) some very difficult realities about yourself….then truth will not be withheld from you.” Or so I’ve come to believe.”

- Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love.